Greetings Dudes,
This Christmas was far better than I had previously forecasted. So was my New Years. My Birthday also beat the odds I had set against it. That will explain this recent absence; I have been positively drunk, happy, exhausted and distracted.

There are some God-awful images that can serve as evidence to prove this miracle. Some far too explicit to post. I would also like to thank and simultaneously blame Beyonce (for the awful combination of all four excuses) for my absence. Just saying. #Drunkinloveallmonth
I even flew to Morocco for my Birthday for a short stint in the sun. Yes I did have a few moments on the beach too, no graining on any wood though. I was on my best behaviour. I will sum up that trip in a few short words: Sun. Sea. Sand. Shisha. Tagine. Haggling. Camel. Chaffing. Bruised. Thighs. Colour. Tan. Tea. Herbs. Spices. Massages. Sauna. Dehydration. Hilarious. Argan Oil. Random. New. Friends. Beyonce. Bikini. Body. Perves. Sexual Harassment.
My previous post saw me creating a Wishlist; I can honestly admit that I had no faith in my nearest and dearest fulfilling such a list – I am a person who goes out forthright and gets what I want, as I rarely receive what I want or what I expect. Not that I get lame gifts – just ‘different’ gifts. Or gifts I am yet to find a use for. Thanks Mum. Without sounding ungrateful of course… So that Wishlist wasn’t a Wishlist after all… Merely a slightly boastful post about all the shit I actually did intend to buy for myself in order of priority.
I also like to get things whilst they are hot – and available in my size! So, whilst being told by such dearest, NOT to purchase anything from my Wishlist until after my birthday – I bloody well missed out on that ASOS Mesh Maxi Dress. Pissed. However – you win some, you lose some. I managed to lose 2KG in weight, gain a new Mr Right and receive all but two of the things off of that list.

Plus my eBay game was indeed on fire and gained myself an off-tha-chain Vintage Leather Borg Flight Jacket. Which I have casually thrown together with just about EVERYTHING, EVERYWHERE. ALL THE DAMN TIME.

So here we are:

Mom Jeans 1
Mom Jeans 2
Mom Jeans 5
Mom Jeans 4

  • Jacket, Vintage
  • Jeans, River Island
  • Mesh Top, Silence & Noise
  • Bra, H&M
  • Back Pack, Topshop
  • Boots, Vagabond
  • Earrings, Accessorize
  • Necklace, (Gift, need to enquire source!)

My mother has never been very fashionable, and I would never have wanted to inherit her jeans. Or any other garments for that matter. Albeit, if I did take on my mothers jeans that she could no longer get into, it would have saved me waiting for the Mom Jeans craze to hit the High Street and, in tandem, saved my sister a pretty penny too. River Island Mom Jeans: Let me just take a moment to grieve for my thighs. *sighs*

They incurred a serious level of affliction when I first tried on the original Christmas Gift. In a size 8. Just what was my darling sister thinking? Bless her, I will take it as a compliment – or perhaps an indication that she desires me to further lose weight. My Lord, they did not even go past my knees! So the jeans were kindly exchanged for a size 12 and here I am, snug as a bug in them. They are a little low in the crouch than I would like, but a super-thick denim, so call it air-con… And just who do I think I am wearing double-mesh? Move over double-denim; over it. Some may think that I think I am too cool, wearing a mesh top and cheekily pairing it with a mesh bag too. Pffft. Others will perhaps just think I am a little bit ‘slutty’ and that I have no absolute care for the security of my personal possessions. I guess breasts do serve as a personal possession, so I guess that assumption would be fair.

Speaking of breasts…. Oh-my-life how uncomfortable that bra is! H&M, great on style, but on this one not on quality; the ‘bone’ of the Pin-up Style bra, has dug into and marked up my back … and probably repositioned my ribs. It now looks like I have been auditioning for 12 Years a Slave. Awesome and moving movie by the way. I will now be purchasing the stupidly-priced Victoria’s Secret version of that bra. The one I originally wanted but couldn’t afford and therefore went to H&M for refuge of my pride.

 

That’s all for now, but I will be reviewing other gifts, including the Tom Ford Lipstick!

Can I get a whoop?

 

La Minx

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